EP 21: Getting unstuck with logical levels
The “Logical Levels” is a model created by Robert Dilts that is based in NLP. In this episode, Georgee walks us through the model and shows us how we can use it to get unstuck. Our quote of the day for this one:
“You can’t solve a problem at the same level of thinking that created it.”
~ Albert Einstein
Full transcript below the video
This is my background music
Has caused me to watch Georgee Patty show. Hello and welcome to the Georgee and Patty show and it changed your pace. Today I am opening the show, I have the quote of the day, and I let the dogs out yeah this is great. This is the work from home; office casual show. We have barking dogs and cats wandering in front of the video and that is part of what makes it is special. I am Patty.
And I’m Georgee has I’m just changing my name, you know who I am. I am not actually programmed or GMAT, I am just Georgee.
Just Georgee, just Georgee I am just Patty. Welcome to the show today’s I am super excited about today’s episode, not just because Georgee is doing it, and I didn’t have to make any slides this morning. But because the thing that George is going to share today it’s life changing. It’s, it is incredibly, incredibly powerful and useful and simple and illuminating and clarifying. And there’s a very, very good chance that you will get a moment today. As Georgee walks us through this model, our quote of the day and as soon as Georgee said she was doing this particular topic, I knew exactly what the quote of the day was. And the quote comes from Albert Einstein, who says that problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them. It is connect to what we’re talking about this morning. With that, I’m going to turn the meeting over to my delightful co-host, and she’s going to run the she’s going to run the slides this morning.
So here we go. Georgee and Patty show number 20. What do I do? I just forgot anyway, what 21 short-term memory. There we go.
Okay, today we’re actually going to be talking about getting unstuck. And we’re going to use one of my very favorite models for getting unstuck and stuck not only in your business, but really in any area of your life this model applies.
If you feel like these dudes that are being just sucked under in the sand, we have something that could help you today.
The model that we’re using is something called logical levels. And the reason that I really, really like, this is because it allows you to get a handle on your internal world as well as your external world, and really show you how you can achieve the things that you want in your life. My favorite thing, like I say, is because we’re looking at both ends of it, what’s happening inside your mind and what’s happening outside. I believe you need both this is based on Robert Dilts, who’s the creator of this logical levels, and he’s one of the probably one of the most well-known people in NLP.
He’s been in it for a really long time. Really amazing human. And he does a lot of work in NLP, that’s fantastic he created these logical levels that’s actually based on the work of Gregory Bateson. I’m going to just kind of go through this really quickly, and then I’m going to break each level down for you. And then at the end of that I’m actually going to give you an exercise or walk you through an exercise of how this can be relevant to you and your business and really help you to get unstuck.
The different levels their environment behavior, skills and capabilities, values and beliefs, identity and purpose. And the cool thing about this is it works very much like a system, because all of the pieces impact the other pieces. Anything we do at the top is going to filter down to the bottom. And often you might not see as big of an impact going bottom to top. However, they are all very, very, very important. You know, we need to make sure we’re lined up in all of these different levels. And that’s what also helps us to stay congruent helps us be in alignment.
When we’re out of alignment we can go through these levels and figure out where’s the problem
Where am I when I’m stuck? Which level am I stuck act and what do we need to do? Before I dive deeper into that, let’s go through each one. Let’s start with an environment. And I’m going to kind of sample as we go through here. Because I think most of us on this call are business people have their own business or entrepreneurs when you think of your business, and when you think of this level of environment, we’re asking the questions of where, when and with whom.
We can go as liberal as literal as Where does your business take place? Do you have a home office? Do you have an office outside of your home? Where do you want it to take place? What city Do you want it to be in? What community do you want? Where are you actually operating? When do you want this business to start, and with whom is there like this guy here, maybe you want a home office, your family’s nearby? Maybe you want to be as far away from your family as possible when you’re doing your work. And when we think of environment with our business. This can also include our virtual spaces, our websites, our zoom meetings; it also includes our customers, our potential customers, and our future clients, all of that is included in our environment.
We are associated with these people. When you think of your business, think about what you would like your environment to be and what it is currently. And I want you to kind of keep those two thoughts in mind as we go through these different levels.
Behavior is what you do in that environment.
This is when you’re performing the services that you perform, you’re doing that in the environment, you’re coaching, you’re consulting, you’re talking to your customers, maybe you’re a sales clerk.
What else are you doing here? You are reaching out to your customers, you’re doing those sales calls, you’re, you know, running the assessments that we talked about, all of those things are happening here. And in the behavior level. It’s also the thoughts that are going on in your mind. As you have this business that you want, what are you thinking, what does it feel like? What kind of feelings Do you want to generate in your in your company? Now if you’re feeling excited and happy and elated and on purpose, great, if you’re feeling stressed out and overwhelmed, this is happening in this level of behavior. What are you doing in your business as at the behavioral level, what’s working, what’s not? skills and capabilities, this also includes, we can put knowledge in here as well. This is how you do those things.
In the behavior level, right? What skills do you have? What capabilities do you have? could be your skills could be your coaching skills, your consulting skills, could be your skill to be I’m highly adaptable. I’m flexible, all really good skills. I’m good with money.
What skills do you have to help you create the business that you really want? What skills do you need? What might be missing?
Really good with people? Not good with people. I know how to reach out to people. I know how to pick up the phone. I know how to type an email. Right? What if I have a great computer skill? Maybe my technical skills aren’t good. But what are the skills and capabilities that you have now to do the work that you do, and one of the ones that you might need, as you move forward to get that business that you want? Next Level values and beliefs. You hear me talk a lot, a lot, a lot about values.
This is why we do what we do, right? The values provide the motivation for us, it’s why we get up, it’s why we’re doing what we’re doing in our business. They also provide that filter for us to know Am I in alignment? Am I doing the things that matter to me? What are those things on the scale where this matters more than this? And am I compromising some of those things? Right. Maybe I value honesty. I value community I value friendships. I value openness. You know, what are some of the values that you hold? And are they in your business right now? Then we can look at beliefs, right? What are the things that you really believe in order to run this business? Right? I believe in human potential. I believe just about anything is possible. I believe things always work out.
I believe in creating environments where people feel like they matter. I believe people matter.
What are some of the beliefs that you hold that you if you were to compromise, those would move you out of alignment would make you stuck?
I believe in telling the truth. Is that showing up or is that creating the sticking point for you? I believe people don’t like salespeople, I believe people won’t pick up the phone.
I believe no one’s buying right now. What are some of the beliefs that you’re holding that are either moving you forward or holding you back? We look at these in the different levels. identity, who are you? And when we look at this level, this can include the roles that you play the things that make you unique. You know, I’m a coach, I’m a teacher, I’m an educator. I’m a mother. I’m a wife, I’m a sister, I’m a friend. Who are you. A lot of times we bring these roles in. I’m an executive. But the other piece of this is I want you to look at some of the intrinsic qualities that you would hold. I’m enthusiastic, I’m flexible, I am honest. What are some of the things that are uniquely you, right? I am compassionate. I am empathetic. That if you look at this too, if you were to strip away your roles, what would be left For you, really, really? Who are you at your core, the things that really, really matter?
When you look at the entrepreneur that you want to be, who is that? What’s the identity of that person? What intrinsic qualities and characteristics do they have?
I am confident, what are the things that follow that I am statement for you? And this is where we start to look about, really what do we believe about ourselves, and who we show up as and how we want to show up. This is what’s happening this identity level. And the next we have the purpose. This is that bigger than us place. This could be all the way up to kind of more of a spiritual thing, a higher consciousness kind of purpose. Or it could really even be about your mission, your vision, why you’re here who you’re doing this for. When we’re at the level we’re thinking about for whom or for what or who else, you know, maybe this is also for your family. For me, it’s really about, I have my just cause, if you want to call it that is I want to create a world where people feel like they matter.
I want to inspire people to take action to create the life that they really, really, really, really want. When I’m holding this as my purpose and my vision and what I’m on the planet for, I want to make sure all those other levels are lined up with this.
When you’re thinking about your business, what is that bigger reason for being here? Why are you doing this?
What is that thing that when it’s hard to get out of bed? And it’s just like, Oh, I’m not feeling like I can do this. What is that thing that’s going to draw you further bring you higher and be like, Yeah, I got this thing. What is that? That’s a brief description. Have what these different levels look like. Now we’re going to break it down a little bit more. And what I want you to realize is that when we make changes at any of these levels, it affects the other levels. If I make a change, say at skills and capabilities, it’s going to filter down into behavior and into environment.
Also when I’m stuck, if I can find out which level am I stuck at? The solution to that just like Patty was mentioned in the quote in the beginning, it’s going to happen at a higher level. If I try to fix the problem, at the level I’m stuck at, it’s going to be a lot more challenging. Let’s take for an example, sales calls sales conversations. One of my favorites, right which I love you all to do, because I know you guys love to for reals.
Is that making that actual sales call having that actual sales conversation? That is behavior, right? That’s something that I do in my business, that’s going to increase my environment, because it’s going to bring in more customers. But if I’m not picking up the phone, where’s the problem? I really want to look at, okay, I’m not picking up the phone. Why am I not picking up the phone? Why am I not making this call? Is it because maybe I needed more skills? Do I know how to pick up the phone? Yes. Do I know how to talk to people? Yes. Do I know how to have an effective sales conversation? Maybe not. Maybe I have an outline.
But maybe I haven’t done a lot of practice, maybe there’s a skill that I need to make that conversation. Maybe this is why like for Patty, why we brought in role-plays, for sales conversations. Maybe you have never actually really done a sales conversation. Let’s practice this practices and practices. I can increase my skill. Now what happens if you’ve increased the skill? We’re pretty confident you’ve got this going on, but you’re still not picking up the phone, then we can go up one more level. What do you believe? What do you value when it comes to picking up the phone and having these sales conversations, maybe it’s a lack of confidence, maybe you don’t believe in yourself. Or maybe you’re holding those beliefs that you’re going to be passed, or no one wants to talk to you.
That we can address those things. And if we address that it’s going to filter down through those other levels is guaranteed if you feel like you have the skill to pick up the phone and have the sales conversation, you’re going to change your behavior, you’re going to start making the calls. When you start making the calls, it’s going to change your environment, you’re going to get more customers. With more customers come more sales comes more money, maybe you wanted a new office.
It’s going to lead to really changing that environment, which then we can filter back up. When we’re going through these things, it’s really, really helpful to know where you’re stuck, what’s the level that you’re stuck at. And now I want to give you an example of how you can actually use this for creating what you want in your business. You can do this a couple ways, because I don’t know where you are in because I want you to continue watching, you’re going to be sitting in your chair and imagining this. But another way that you can do this as also which I like to do with my clients.
If you can actually put each of these words on a piece of paper and you can put them in front of you. You can actually walk and step into each level, which is a really fun exercise because it creates more of an experience. However, for now, I want you to just stay seated and keep listening to me. I want you to sit in your chair, and I want you to close your eyes and I want you to start to think about your business. The business that you really, really want and I want you to now think about the environment.
Think about where you are, think about what that looks like, think about who’s with you, think about your clients, and your future clients. Who are they? How many are they? What’s really happening for you in that level of environment in your ideal business? Now, I want you to step up into that behavior. I want you to notice, what are you doing? What are you doing in your environment in your business? What does it feel like? What are you thinking? What services are you performing? What are all the different activities that are happening in your business? And then I want you to step up into the skills, the capabilities and the knowledge, what skills and capabilities Do you have to be able to perform those behaviors in that environment. That is all the things that you know, all the expertise that you are bringing to the table in this business, the things that allow you to really do what you do so well.
Notice what those skills and capabilities are. And now I want you to step up into those values and beliefs. And notice what really, really matters to you. What’s really, really important as you’re doing those different skills and capabilities, you’re taking all those actions and thinking the way you’re thinking and feeling the way you’re feeling in that environment. What do you really, really value? And what do you believe as that person? Is that person that’s building this business, servicing those clients, and making such a difference in the world? What do you believe as that person? What beliefs are you holding? And then when you have those, I want you to step up into the identity. Who are you? Who are you really, as you are building this business? Because this is the you that showing up in all areas of your life? What are those things at the core of who you are, that really define you? The things that make you unique, your uniqueness, as we talked about a lot here, who are you, and you can include the roles that you’re playing, those intrinsic characteristics that you have and then you have that, I want you to Step into your purpose.
What’s the bigger reason for doing this? Who is this for? Why does this matter? What’s the impact of this, that when you really step into who you are, you’re really clear about what you value and you’re holding those beliefs that serve you. And you’re noticing all these amazing skills and capabilities that you have enable you to do the things you do so well, in that environment that you really want to be in.
What is the impact of that? What’s the ripple effect that you’re making in the world with that? I want you to take all that back in. And then I want you to take that purpose, drop it into your identity, drop it into that values and beliefs, the skills and capabilities that they have behavior, and environment. And then when all that feels really good, then just go ahead and come on back to our virtual room. But what that does, is that really gives you a bit of a visualization, a marking point for where you might want to go, who you might want to be the nice beliefs, you might want to hold skills and capabilities.
And if you take that image of what you just created that visualization, and you attach it to, where are you now? What does your business look like now? Do you notice any spots where you might be stuck? Where are there some in congruencies whereas there may be a little bit of work to be done. Because this is some places, we can go in and we can have a look at that. As you guys know, I totally believe that you guys are all amazing, and that you can truly, truly, truly build these businesses that you want, that are going to support the life that you want, and go out there and make such a massive difference in the world. I know that the world needs you the world wants you and that they are there waiting for you. So, which is why I love this pyramid, I’m a big fan of the pyramid scheme.
Especially this one, because when you can walk in and look at these different levels, and realize where we might be stuck and what we need to do, and find someone who can help us through them, our success is really not that far off. And it gets just a place to go when I’m stuck. I’m stuck. What do I do? Let me go back here. It’s really, I find it super valuable and I think it’s going to be helpful for you guys do which is why we use it a lot in the work that we do. And Patty and I are having a great conversation about this this morning, which I’m really excited now where we can kind of continue this conversation we were having when we were talking about these different levels and these different pieces and how often we want to skip some time. The environment piece are those bottom layers.
And they’re really, really important to have a really solid base. Like if we think about your business. If you only stay at purpose and you guys know, almost super purpose lover, but if we’re only up there about, what can I do and what can I imagine we’re only visualizing the good that we can do in the world. And we’re kind of as pay likes to say lion on our back looking at the clouds, but we never actually lace up our boots and do those things at the bottom to get us to the top of that pyramid. It’s never going to happen. Like it’s so important to really recognize those bottom things count just as much as the top pieces even though I tend to play around a lot in those top three levels of this pyramid and we can’t negate the importance of the bottom pieces, really important.
When wondering too. I think we have covered favorite levels, and levels, we get stuck in it. Because just as you were talking about this, like, the importance of looking for the actual cause of the problem in a layer that’s different from where the problem appears is important. I see many people who are stuck in, they’re stuck in that behavior, row of this pyramid and they believe that the answer to their problem is to work harder to do more to like to do more of something that isn’t working.
It’s, you know, oh, if I could just push myself to make more calls. I only talked to 100 people 100 people didn’t buy, I need to talk to 1000 people. And we tend to get stuck in those loops and behaviors when I see it’s like, how do I force myself to do more, do more of this stuff? How do I get somebody to hold me accountable that I do more things without actually looking at am i doing it Well? Is there something that’s Am I missing a skill or capability, it’s, they’re stuck there. And that behavior. Another place to get stuck is like, like in the vision and the purpose. And it’s kind of like, Oh, it’s not working, I’m going to build another vision board, I’m going to manage eight more. I think we have our comfort zone skills and capabilities. That’s probably my comfort zone. It’s my favorite level of this thing is the skills and capabilities.
How many people we talked to have taken course after course, after course, after course, after course, lots and lots and lots of skills and capability, but they’re not. They have beliefs that are holding them back or identity stuff that’s holding them back or they’re just not executing the behavior.
Exactly. And I think what I love about it, it’s just it’s a system, right? And we work within a system and often we want to silo pieces, you know, just like you’re talking about with the behavior thing. I just keep forcing myself forcing myself forcing myself to take action that isn’t working. But if I can look at the complete system of everything, like oh, okay, maybe I’m getting a little more clarity here.
A little neglected environment one. It’s not sexy, right? It’s not sexy but I think about Tom, we talked about Gretchen Rubin works with the four tendencies, right? When you know who you are, it’s like you can set up an environment that helps you succeed, and if you go through that four tendencies quiz and we can post it in the Facebook group or whatever you can Google for tendencies, Gretchen Rubin. If you do that four tendencies quiz and you’d find out that your tendency isn’t obligors. It’s like you need accountability. You need to set your environment up that you have accountability. And she basically just says that the book it’s like you need accountability. Like other people need air and food and water kind of thing.
If you want to make if you want to get to where you want to go, accountabilities are required. You don’t try to beat yourself up and develop more skills or whatever. That is a simple environmental fix. It’s like, you get an accountability partner, you find a way to create an environment where you’re accountable. This is why a lot of people hire coaches is to keep them accountable. The number of times I’ve had somebody say, Patty, I did this stuff, because I told you, I would do it. I wouldn’t do it on my own.
Sometimes these are really easy fixes. You don’t have to, you don’t have to learn a lot of stuff. You don’t have to change a lot of your behaviors. Sometimes it’s just setting up the environment, maybe not making those calls. Because your kids are screaming, you don’t have privacy, or you got somebody listening in and it’s not conducive. Some people will work better in a coffee shop. It’s kind of bad to be that position right now, but it’s like maybe the answer is as simple as taking your laptop to Starbucks. It’s just if it environmental fix fixes something, they do it.
Exactly. And I think it’s true. Like, we often want to skip over this and not look at it. And this is where I think a lot of times too, we’ve been taught that. It’s, you’re almost shamed if you can’t do it on your own. What, right, like, if you need, like, see that support that accountability, get it; get whatever it is that you need to get you where you need to go. And I think having supportive people in your corner is really, really important. And I think that’s the other reason it’s nice to look at your environment. Because if you’re surrounded by people who are negative, who are the naysayers, that’s going to impact everything else too. And I think that goes, you know, even further to you know, what is the content that you’re putting in your brain? What kind of environment are you creating up in your mind?
Kind of environments of media creating for us.
Exactly what are you falling prey to, and where and if you’re noticing that this is really a really big problem for you, then let’s fix it. Like I think there’s a reason that’s on the bottom. And I think there’s a reason that it’s nice and why because that’s the foundation for building everything up. You know, and knowing what you want what works for you, because we’re always talking about this is this is a, this is your business. It’s U shaped, is not partner likes to say, it’s a great book by that time, by the way, FYI.
But this is really about creating things that work for you. You know, I might like it quiet when I work. Someone else might like music blasting like crazy and I’m like, I can’t even think. I am setting some things, those things up for you is really, really important. I think they’re all important, but even in behavior, I think we often don’t think about that that behavior includes How am I feeling? How do I want to feel when I go work, but my thinking what thoughts are going on in my mind when I’m creating this business that I want? You know, it’s really in sometimes that’s also where we can get a little bit. We don’t recognize that that might be where the problem lies, right? Oh, look at this continuous thought loops I’m running that aren’t actually serving me. And they’re showing up every time I go to work. Right? If I’m, yes, this just men same with the way I’m wanting to feel. It’s, I love this pyramid, FYI Just you know.
And the more we talk about it, the more we could go into deeper conversations about the different levels and where we’re stuck and how we can use them. We make sure you do put questions in there if you have questions about any of the levels where you might be stuck, how to move through them. I love this topic. And it’s really great having a partner on here to talk about it too, because you do get different perspectives like we were talking this morning. I’m like I love the top part of this pyramid and I spend a lot A lot of time there. And he’s like, I think I spent a lot of time in the bottom of the pyramid. And I’m like, and that’s why we are a great couple. That is why our collaboration really works.
It’s because we, there’s different parts we like and we can move through all of it. I’m going to move to our permission slip, and then put us back on kind of full screen mode, we can ask the questions and keep going. Today, your permission slip is that you can create the life and the business that you want. You know, it’s you really, really, can we give you permission to create this thing however you want? And you can use this tool to make sure that you are in alignment and congruent with yourself, not in a way of what other people say, but how does this work for you. So with that, I’m going to stop sharing. Ask away questions, thoughts, comments, concerns. Now that I’ve shared my very strongly held opinion on a model that I love.
There’s another quote or cut of views today about the first, you know, the first step to solving any kind of problem is, is to describe it to figure out where it’s happening, like, like, Where is the problem happening. And I love about this model is because it reminds me of my backgrounds as a computer programmer. And the hardest bugs to get out of a computer program are the ones that show up in one place, but originate somewhere else. You are looking at this particular screen crashes, but it has nothing to do with this particular screen.
It has something to do with the sign that’s way over, you know, we may bury deep somewhere else within the code. And those are the hearts to discover, but when you figure out where the problem is, is easy to fix bugs. But if you don’t know where the problem is, you can waste a lot of time looking at the wrong thing, and I think too often, this is what we do with problems. We just focus way too much on where it’s happening. And this model allows you to step back and go hang on a second.
Exactly. And the more entrenched, we get with our problem to then become more singly focused on that thing that it’s challenging to open up and look beyond into a bigger picture. And then like you say, we just keep trying to fix that little problem, little problem, little problem where we think it is and that’s probably not where it originated.
So that loop, it’s like the spinning loop. It’s frustrating. Alright, we got it. We got a question here.
I’ve got a couple of questions.
I’ve always struggled with the top in my mind I see beliefs as a level then purpose identity value at the same level areas to look at when I’m stuck in the lower level try to figure out this way. To me values give rise to purpose and purpose leads to identity. Not sure if it really matters if these are just details might help to put the model back on the screen. Yes.
Let me go find it.
What did a visual I had?
I practice my go backwards. Okay.
Struggle with the top and you see beliefs and purpose,
Identity and values above that. Okay, price, identity values that same level.
So when we I think this might make it a little clearer for you, or how this model is where is Working, you know, and I think if you have a system that works for you, I’m all for that, too. So, with this, and I think because values and beliefs are closely related, you know, like values are kind of the thing that motivate us and beliefs kind of really create that map of our world and the filter that our beliefs are that our values sometimes come out of. I think that’s why they’re on the same level. And when we know what we value and what we believe, I think that leads to kind of this, who we are, what our identity level is. I think that’s how this hierarchy is, is going up. And then purpose is that thing that’s bigger than ourselves, which I think in this pyramid, that’s why it’s, it’s above us, it’s because it’s a bigger thing.
I’m just going to read your question here.
So I think they’re, they’re very, very close to related. And I think even if you look at the pyramid, how it gets tinier at the top, those three things, the level between each one may not be that big. Right? And I do, I do think values and beliefs create your identity, which then leads to What’s your purpose was the bigger thing there.
I get it can’t just throw something?
Of course, you can.
Just get to take this off on a tangent and create a permission slip on the fly. Oh, which is permission to create your own model. This is, and this is how innovation happens, right? Like this is Robert Dilts. came up with this as a way to do his work and to share this message and to make sense of the world in the way that he saw it based on his experience, skills and beliefs. And this is what we are doing. It’s like When you are an expert in your field, and you’re taking enough time to say, you know what I’m not, I think I see this differently. Go for it, you could create your own model, you can create your own pyramid, it could be the insert your name here, levels of change, however you want to name it.
This is the part of the work that we do in the world and at some point for all of us, kind of move into this place of everyone else is saying this and someone said this, but you are not pulling it all together in this this different way and this is what I think. I just want to throw that out there. That it’s not just Robert Dilts has a permission slip to build a pyramid and a model. It’s not like he and Maslow went to this special place where they were they’re allowed to do pyramids. You can make a pyramid for your own business.
But I highly recommend it.
Yes. I think this brings up another good point too because I think pup the word purpose creates. Everybody almost has a different definition of what purpose is, right? You may call it your why you may call it your vision, you may call it your mission. That’s why I think this top level thing can actually be something that’s not the super, super grand purpose. But it could be that reason of why you’re doing some it could be to make money for your family.
That’s the reason that’s my purpose for building this business. And I think with these layers like this, it’s Who am I when I show up to fulfill this purpose, kind of thing, you know, but I absolutely think I’m and I like what you’re saying there right? That it does build into your values give rise to your purpose and your purpose leads to your identity. Because the reality I think those two are closely related, quite honestly because when I am fulfilling my purpose, I am fully aligned with who I am at my core, it is almost a manifestation of, of who I am, right? I am on this planet, I believe, to help inspire people to create the life that they really, really, really want.
Now, for me to do that, I believe I have to have a really solid identity. But I also agree if you want to flip this pyramid upside down, turn it around, turn it into an octagon, great. Go for it. Because I think what really, really matters is that you’re doing something that works for you that enables you to do your work in the world that helps people and whether it’s this exact pyramid or another one, I really don’t think it matters. I think we need to look at literally what’s the outcome that you want and that outcome is to bring your gifts to the world and help people you know, and I think it’s a very awesome permission slip to be able to create your own model 100% is it getting the results you want? Does it line up with who you are and what matters to you? Simply Yes or no? Right? Like totally brilliant. There’s your permission slip. And I think the important thing is exactly not to get stuck in the details. If that’s what’s going to stick you from doing what the world needs you to do, change it.
That’s the beauty of life really is do you want?
Here is, here is a good question for you.
I am confused by the difference between thoughts, which are behavior level, and beliefs, which is values and beliefs level.
So when I talk about thoughts at the behavior level. I’m literally talking about the chatter that’s running through your mind which Ultimately is probably going to uncover a belief which is something that’s happening more at an unconscious level at a deeper, deep structure level in your mind. You can almost think of the thoughts as the words that you’re saying to yourself that are kind of surface structure. Right? I can’t do this today. I don’t know how to pick up the phone. Let’s see, if you have something like, what your thought was? I don’t, I don’t want to make sales calls today.
What’s underneath that? The thought is, I don’t want to make sales calls. That’s what’s running in my mind. But if I were to dig deeper underneath that, and I would start asking you questions like so. What is it that’s maybe causing you to not want to make phone calls today? sales calls today? I don’t know. I think maybe I don’t have enough time. You don’t have enough time? How much time would you need to make a sales call? Well, okay, five minutes. Okay, you don’t have five minutes today. I have five minutes. Okay. Time is not the issue. What else could it be? Well, I really think about it. Let’s see. I really think salespeople are pushy, and I don’t want to be a salesperson, because I don’t want to be pushy.
Now these thoughts are uncovering that belief of what you believe about sales salespeople, which started from just that talk in your mind. Does that does that help? Does that make sense? Explaining that clearly, like everything is very, very closely related, right? Often these things and they happen at like nanoseconds and often they’re running very quickly. One thing leads to the next thing that leaves Next thing that happens in maybe five seconds is a lot of this stuff like it. But I would say like your self-talk and your words, those are happening on a surface kind of surface structure, where the beliefs are the deeper surface, deep structure stuff that’s really underneath that.
And if you talk it out fast enough, you’re going to hit the belief that’s coming up for sure. No question. those thoughts are leading to your beliefs for sure, let me know if that wasn’t clear enough for you need more examples?
If I am not doing something that I know I should, and I’m self-sabotaging. Do you think I should start examining my values and beliefs first? Pants?
I think I think I think it depends on what it is. I think it depends on sometimes we may self-sabotage really, because we don’t Have a skill or capability. And maybe we start to self-sabotage because we feel like, I don’t know how to do that. And if I didn’t know how to do that, maybe then I’m feeling like, I’m not enough, I’m going to self-sabotage. Again, very closely related. But you might be able to change the belief or the value. And if you still don’t have the skill or the capability, it’s still going to be a problem. Like you might be more inclined to fumble your way through it. And you might not self-sabotage as much. But I also believe it’s really important to look at all of the levels. Because it could be that maybe there’s just a skill you don’t have, maybe there’s some knowledge that you need.
And then it could fall underneath that, and I think especially for a lot of us who’ve been in personal development a lot. We want to jump quickly to; I will just change my belief. But if often if we’re not looking at The underlying pieces of those beliefs and those values that we’re holding, like even if we look at what are the thoughts that are continuing running through my mind, that’s leading to that belief, if I don’t look at that, maybe it’s an environmental thing. Maybe I think I’m self-sabotaging myself, but really what I need is some support and I need a quiet workspace.
And when I have that my mind chatter dies down a little bit, and when that dies down and I start to feel this way or that way and then maybe there is a skill that I need. I think it is really it really depends on what it is if we look at all of these things, and it’s like Nope, that’s check that check. I know I know how to do this. And I’m still self-sabotaging myself. Okay, let us go now let’s keep moving up. But I think it’s really important to look at all the different pieces because I again, I think it depends Patty and I are actually kind of having this conversation before we got on the call this morning, which sort of led us to think about how often people negate those lower levels of the pyramid. Because sometimes, it really is that you need to, you need to learn a skill.
You need to learn new skills, or you need to change the environment. Like I’m thinking about this, like, when you think about like, self-sabotage, it’s kind of like, yeah, I keep on keep eating stuff that I shouldn’t be eating. And it’s like, yeah, I could get, I could get a coach and I could work on my values and my beliefs and do a vision board and work on my identity and my purpose and get skills and capabilities about researching nutritional components of food, right? Or maybe I could just stop buying junk food and having it in the house.
It might be just that simple. It might just be an environmental fix it. I think for a lot of us that love to look up the top of the pyramid. It’s just easy to just say skip the stuff that gets you from A to B really quickly. Do I need to take a course and learn how to develop my own website? Or do I get a tech person to do it for me?
Exactly. Exactly. You know, and I think that is it. You look at it, okay. No, I just need to stop buying junk food. Now, if I can’t seem to stop buying junk food. Let’s see where that’s coming from. Maybe there’s some hidden things in there.
But I could just send my husband to the store.
Exactly. Anyways, he got in my car by the bank, all the way down, but you know, but it really, really depends. And I think that’s the beautiful thing about this is that we want to kind of look at all the work where do we think it is? Okay, let’s look at that. What’s something I could do now that might change that And then let’s see what happened, see where see where it where it goes?
Because sometimes it could be a belief or value or identity, you know, and those kinds of things. And I think sometimes we slide right we kind of go, we slide up and down the pyramid, depending on things that are happening, you know, and this is where I think that environment can impact a lot of things, too, that we don’t often look at, right? When things are really clean and really tidy. How do you feel? You feel like you’re more free? Do you feel like you have more space? Do you feel more energized, ready to tap into things? Oh, maybe I do sound might be important to make sure that stays clean and tidy and ready to go. You know, am I more likely to do my run every morning if I’ve set my environment up where I’ve got my running shoes and my workout clothes right there when I go to bed and don’t have to go searching for them? More than likely you know now when I identify as in my identity, I am someone who takes care of myself. I am a runner.
I know for me, when I hold the identity, I am a runner, and I tend to run more. However, if I don’t have those other things lined up, I will slide a lot faster. Like I can remember I was wanting to start taking up trail running and I did this one little thing, and I had a hat that had a running thing on it, and I think I’d done one run. But anyway, that’s okay. I went to Starbucks, and the guy’s like, Oh, hey, are you runner? And I’m like, Yes, I am. I am runner I am a runner.
Which then I read more. But then as my environment started to slide and I started to have different thoughts in my head and all these kinds of things started taking over. Suddenly I wasn’t running anymore. I wasn’t really embodying the identity as a runner anymore, and I needed to go deal with some things below, mostly in do I know how to run? Yes. Do I know how to run for long distances consistently? No, I needed some help. I needed to develop some skills and capabilities. And I needed to hire someone to help me. I am get hurt all those kinds of things right? I kind of needed to go back down.
That I could support coming and myself back up. Because if not, just doesn’t work. I think all of these pieces are really important. And I think sometimes this happens with a lot of models we look at right, our goal is to get to the top as fast as possible. How can I just get to the top and maybe skip through some of these bottom things? And I think every level is really important. You know, it’s, you have to do the work. And sometimes that work at the bottom sucks but it doing that work at the bottom. That helps me move to the top.
This is good. I’ve stopped in my tracks when getting on video, I know how to press the video button by need to address the other pieces.
I am going to let’s just assume that you have the environment setup. You know where you want to do them; you’ve got your lighting, got whatever you need there. We are looking at the behaviors you’re not pushing the button. Okay, not recording the video. Now we can go up into skills, capabilities and knowledge. Is this something where you know how to push the button? You know how to actually make a video? Are there skills and capabilities that you feel might be stopping you maybe I need to edit and maybe you could outsource that. All those kinds of things. You can look at that level.
Or even what do I know what to say?
Do I know what to say? Exactly? Is my message clear? Do I know why I’m making this video? Do I know whom I’m talking to? All of these things would follow what I would consider in this knowledge, skills and capabilities. And I find quite often when it comes to making a video, or doing Facebook Lives or things like that, it’s that we don’t know what to say.
And we haven’t taken the time to spend, who am I talking to? Who is this message for? Right, that could be could very well be that piece. If that’s handled, then you might go up to what do you believe about making videos? Do you believe that you have to look a certain way? Do you believe that people are going to criticize you? Do you believe that people are going to judge you, what are the beliefs that you’re holding on to about making this video? And if that’s where it is, then it’s kind of making that shift into your reasoning for doing these things. I believe that I’m confident looking at Do I really believe that I have to look a certain way to do this video, which I then then that’s where we can drive up a little higher into if you’re doing this to help people, what’s the impact that I’m going to make here? What’s my purpose for doing this? Who am I? I’m a confident person, I’m here to make a difference, I am a helper.
All those kinds of things. But often, I think when it comes to doing videos, we get stuck in a couple places and one is not knowing what to say. Thinking we’re going to sound foolish because we don’t know what to say. You know, because even if you look at that belief of I don’t I believe that I need to sound professional. What’s stopping you from that belief? You know, really stepping into that belief? It could be something underneath there, you don’t know what to say. You don’t have the messaging, you don’t have the words.is that something that that I need that I need to know?
I think it also is often I’m picturing an audience of critics. I believe that people are going to make bad comments; I believe that people are going to laugh behind my back, I believe that my competition will see this and think I’m an idiot. I believe that, you know, that person that used to pick on me in high school is going to watch my video and somehow, you know, bully me again or something like that. It’s, we have these kind of negative thoughts attached to it.
When you’re talking about like, your purpose and your identity, and it’s like, if you can picture the people, you’re going to impact the people who need to hear your message, that you are here to help them and to have that hold them in mind you believe. That the only people who you know, how would things change if you believe that the only people who would see your video are the people who really need to hear it the people who are your future clients, and are the people that will send you a thank you note about that was awesome. I am glad you shared that it was helpful. Right?
Exactly. And we kind of talked about this when we were talking about, like storytelling, the stories that we’re making up in our mind, right? Really start to notice what stories are you making up? What are the ones that are going to support you to move forward, I you know, I can relate to coming on video? And you know, it’s scary. Like when we first said we were going to do these Facebook Lives and stuff like that it was really, really scary. And the things that really helped for me, was really being able to just like Patty says, These videos are for the people who are interested in what we’re saying. These are for our people, our clients, our future clients, for us to bring value to you.
It’s recognizing that that’s who we’re speaking to. And knowing that for us this for me anyway, I’ll say, this was a way for me to fulfill my purpose to be able to inspire people to take action to create the life that they really, really, really, really want. For me, I was able to reach into that and that’s what pulls me every single day to get up and put on this video. You know, and get in front of do these live shows. And I feel also super confident because I have my amazing words person here, who has throughout the last year and a half probably we’ve worked on, what is our message? What do we want to say, Who are we speaking to? That’s really solid, which enables me to make it easier to step into The identity, the purpose and cements kind of what I believe, because I feel super confident that I know when our messages I know who we’re talking to when I know what we’re going what we’re saying.
And I think the other thing I want to add to this too is, do you want to make videos? Why are you making videos? Is it something you really want to do? Is it something you or someone else has told you? You should Do? You know, is it something that you do want to do because you feel like it will move your business forward, and you’re feeling a little bit stuck here and actually getting off to do it. But I do think it does come down to that space of Do you want to does this work for you? And then we can we can go, you know, address the further things. But often, it’s one of those things where we get stuck into the should and what other people think we should do to move ourselves forward.
I’m a second, I’m glad you overcame your fear of doing these shows not only are you great in the content super helpful but you’re inspiring all of us to face our fears about the stuff we need to do in our businesses to thank you. Thank you guys are welcome camera stop sharing them and then you can you can shut me up.
I will do that. This was fun.
Patty if you guys have any questions that you would like me to ask her, please send them to me and we will get all your questions about Patty answer tomorrow. Any burning things you want to know about her? Dive into her mind get all their secrets out.
What is the name of Gretchen Rubin’s book, or tendencies or tendencies? Alright.
We will see you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow. Bye